Feeling 💫 heavy 💫at the absence of information in my life about the names of the women who came before me, only remembered by their husband’s last name.
Feeling 💫 heavy 💫 at not knowing their stories of hardship, of triumph or joy.
Feeling 💫 heavy 💫 at not yet asking the questions of my Mumma and Nana about their inner most thoughts and desires for this lifetime.
I contemplate this as I sit here and feed my baby girl this morning. Wondering what the experience of motherhood was like for women in my lineage who walked this path before me; and fed generations of my family from their breasts.
Women who may have had to contort and betray their uniqueness to keep themselves and their family safe. Women who may have lived lifetimes as their fully expressed selves, and &$@ anyone who told them they couldn’t. Women who let go of everything they wanted in order to provide for another.
I sit here wondering why I have let them disappear. Wondering why I have not asked more questions.
The time is now ✋
I am ready to know you; and I am sorry it has taken me this long.
Image: Close up of my face. I am wearing a grey shirt, which is pulled up as I am breastfeeding Miss E. I am looking seriously at the camera.