Day 62 Continued - Noticing when I am starting to feel mentally unwell
Maybe it’s more than it just being the season of my life right now.
If you saw my Reel from earlier today, you would have seen me talking about being kind to myself around timeframes or cancelling plans. But what I am also feeling into today is whether there is something more going on, because withdrawing from wanting to be around people and not leaving the house is a symptom of being mentally unwell for me.
About the six week mark is a bit of a danger period for maternal mental health. Typically, partners have gone back to work, outside support has lessened and the stressors of everyday life start to pile up.
Two weeks ago, I started to feel a little bit out of my body again; I started to feel a bit withdrawn.
Boom. Danger period!
Jess, have you taken on too much? Are you putting too much pressure on yourself?
I knew in my bones last week that we would need to start looking at additional care for Mr F. 1-2 days a week with family didn’t feel enough anymore.
I can’t do it.
I can’t maintain the energy required for a toddler and a newborn. I can’t do it on minimal sleep or on poor nutrition (this is a story for another time).
I feel 💫 tired 💫 and 💫 overwhelmed 💫. I feel 💫isolated 💫.
So I am taking action.
This morning we looked at a school for Mr F. He loved it. And he can start right away. Looks like we will be getting him in within the next few weeks.
One day a week of him practicing a different kind of independence feels good to me. I need space to breathe, be, create. I need him to have his needs met, I need him to be able to be challenged and enjoy himself. I want all the things for him that I just can’t provide right now.
Because at this stage if I don’t get more help, I will crack.
Thanks for letting me share this afternoon everyone, it feels hard. And yet, it is also a #BearMode afternoon making everything feel so so much harder.
If this is you, or you have been where I am, I am sending so much love to you.
Image Description: I am standing up looking at the camera in the bathroom holding Miss E breastfeeding. I am wearing an orange dress and and orange headscarf. Miss E has on a white onesie with red flowers.