Day 50 - What was stolen
Waking up this morning feeling 💫 grief 💫 at the joy that had been stolen from me over a lifetime of manufactured shame about every little inch of my body;
And what it does naturally.
Thinking about how I would have done a magnitude of things differently if I had different beliefs. Thinking about those people outside of myself who I would have held accountable for their actions if I had had more love of self. Thinking about how I would have dressed differently. Thinking about how it would have enabled more self expression. Thinking about how it would have impacted how I treated others.
But also acknowledging it is not helpful to agonise over this loss of time and chastise myself; it only prolongs this self loathing further.
What I can do to try to process this grief is to take steps every day to love all that is innate about my body and how it works.
For the sake of me, my relationship with my husband and for my son and daughter.
Refusing to say negative things out loud is no longer enough, it must continue to run deeper than that.
And I commit to continue to learn how I can inspire deep body love of those around me 💓.
Thank you Rupi for inspiring this thought spiral!
Image: Bright pink background with several breasts outlined in yellow. In the centre is a pale blue square. Text sits over the top of it.