Day 43 continued - My identity and my boobs
It was so confusing to my sense of identity having my boobs back for the few months before Miss E was born.
Mr F had self weaned when I was in my second trimester.
I noticed myself avoiding the whole need to say that I wasn’t breastfeeding him anymore. Well, unless pushed I would mention it. But I avoided it at all costs.
I guess this was normal when I had something be such a strong part of my identity for over 2 years?
I did find it fun to wear clothes again that I didn’t need to constantly think about having to get my boobs out in lol.
But here I am again. Breastfeeding. Signing up for another 2+ years (for as long as Miss E wants it so it could be more). And I am stoked.
I feel like me again.
But there is a problem here. I am feeling a sense of self worth attached to this, they are useful. Someone needs them.
Before having my babies, boobs to me were heavily sexualised. They mostly took on the ability to be visually appealing to my partner, even though I told myself when I got my breast augmentation surgery in 2016 it was for me but I really don’t know anymore.
Recently I listened to an episode of Jenna Ward’s School of Embodied Arts Podcast with Michelle Lynn. Michelle spoke about breast massage as opening up our heart centre and further connecting to ourselves. This episode spoke to me so strongly, and where I want to go with my love of self that I excitedly hit buy this morning on her Secret Art of Breast Massage Mini Course.
💫 Excited 💫 to dive deep into this feminine embodiment practice! Watch this space! Has anyone else tried this practice before?
Image: Orange background with outline of a breast to the right. Inside the breast, the background is bring pink. Text repeated over and over