‘I’ll just see if I can do it, doesn’t matter if I can’t’.
This was my response to people when I was pregnant with Mr F and they asked ‘Will you be breastfeeding?’.
I wanted to, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up in case it wasn’t in our journey.
Our early breastfeeding experience was definitely challenging, made worse by me not asking for help soon enough. I had cracked nipples, had to use nipple shields and mastitis all before he was six weeks old.
Luckily, a beautiful Lactation Consultant saved our journey after this diagnosis.
Mr F self weaned when he was 2.5 and I was pregnant with Miss E. It was so interesting hearing the difference in my response to this question when I was asked second time around.
Its amazing reflecting on what experience and knowing how to seek help can do to someone hey?
Breastfeeding has taken me to my edges that’s for sure. I consider it responsible for some of my huge transformations. It became part of my identity.
This image is a work in progress, but it is starting to pull together concepts that breastfeeding has forced me to explore more deeply and some for the first time.
There is an incredible amount of diversity in the experience we have feeding our babies, no matter how you choose to do that; and all of it can take us to our edges. However you fed your baby, what did this experience call to you to explore more deeply about yourself?
For me, practicing patience and presence was a big part of my journey. Things had to wait, I couldn’t do certain things with a baby on the boob. And coming back into my body just looking at the little face in front of me and tracing their little features was divine.
I’d love to hear your experiences!
Reflecting on all of today I am feeling ✨ grateful ✨.
Image: Bright pink background with a white outline of a breast on the left had side. Just outside of the nipple are white, purple and pink flowers. Inside the breast are pale pink and purple flowers with the text 'self compassion, appreciation, connection, surrender, creativity, presence, strength'.